The Six Stages

Psychomoore

I found these on a set of coasters that I stole from my mam.

1. Sober, adj. Possessed of iron will, but often lacking a sense of humor. Helpful with doing dishes, finding cd's and lifts home. Probably in need of several stiff drinks!

2. Tipsy, adj. The usual signs are a flushed face, stupid grin, loud voice and a profound love for mankind. The sufferer is incredibly deep, intelligent and insightful but prone to giggle.

3. Plastered, adj. Extremely generous, loud and confident. Suffering from verbal diarrhea and a belief that he/she can drink anyone under the table.

4. Drunk, adj. Suffering from vision, hearing and speech inpairment, with an insatiable appetiete for pizza. Will do anything that moves, possessing an illogical belief that he/she is gorgeous despite dribbling and slobbering.

5. Shit-faced, adj. Invincible but incapable. Suffering from extreme loss of balance, coordination and sex appeal. Liable to sleep anywhere. Babbling incoherently with loss of most bodily functions.

6. Hung-over, adj. Suffering from near death like state, often catatonic and always with a pounding headache. Unbalanced with no sense of humor. Needs total silence and another drink!